5 Things: Blah, Blah, Blah.

1. Free Tip: If you foresee MURDERING your daughter some point in the future in the name of "honor killing" for being too westernized and not quite Iraqi enough, perhaps you should raise her, oh I don't know... in IRAQ, NOT ARIZONA!!!!!

2. Border control. It's fun. Try it.

3. In honor of tonight's address, the state of our union is......fail.

4. It takes 1,000,000 gallons of water per day to make Canada Dry Ginger Ale.

5. If Australia won't change its time zone, they need to start having the Australian Open in Brazil (or any other country in a reasonable time zone). I'm not down with staying up till 3am to watch live tennis and I HATE, HATE, HATE finding out the outcome of a match (or any sporting event, for that matter) before I have seen it. Grrrrr.

5 Things: Chocolate, Strippers & Terrorists

1. I'm a methodical eater. Everything has a certain order in which it should be eaten. Or is that OCD? It can't be...if I were OCD, my house would be a LOT cleaner. So I guess it's just food...and really, now that I think about it, it's all candy. Before I open the wrapper on a Hershey's bar, I break all the bars into individuals.... Twix & Snickers: eat the coating on each end, then off each side, then eat in layers from the top down.... Reese's Cups: eat the edges first... PayDay: eat the peanuts one by one and then eat the center.... so on and so forth... So yeah, I guess it's just candy, not actual food that I eat methodically. I rephrase: I'm a methodical eater of candy.

2. Who decided all of a sudden the stripper look is a good thing? I mean, it's not even like haute stripper. It's like skank stripper. It isn't enough that we already paint our faces and do God knows what to our hair before we go out in public, now I'm supposed to glue fake eyelashes and cheap extensions to my head? And no thanks on the cake-up, I mean make-up, either. If I want black eyes, I'll have someone punch me, thank you. And the lips??? Wasn't there a reason huge lips were given a rather suggestive (not in a good way)nickname back in the day??? Now we're SUPPOSED to look like that??? Ehhhhhhhhh, no thank you, please. Plus, my frosted Mary Kay pearl lipgloss ran out in high school.....yours should have, too.

3. I recently read this quote: "I have learned from history that we do not learn from history." I couldn't agree more. I'm usually dismissive of philosophical quotes because I find them, well, dumb... but this struck a chord in my heart. So sadly true.

4. Today is an extremely sad day for Moscow and all of Russia. Have terrorists not learned that suicide bombings don't further their agenda? They only fuel the fires of hatred towards them and strengthen their enemies. If martyrdom is as noble as the leaders teach young, naive men & women, why haven't they done it themselves instead of just preaching it to others? A great example of the "Do as I say, not as I do" mindset. I pray that today's tragedy will serve to save at least one (if not more) young person from being recruited into that disgusting way of life.

5. Quit complaining about cold weather. It's winter. Duh.

5 Things: One Way Ticket To Gitmo, Plz. With Tanya Harding And Pork On The Side.

1. It baffles me that people pay good money to hear Sugarland. Really? Maybe the dude singer is worth it, but I wouldn't know because I can never get past the squawking of Jennifer Nettles. I hear her sing and it's the train wreck scenario....I can't NOT listen; I have to hear it just to confirm that yeah...it's that bad. I mean, can a person be born with that much nasal, inbred twang or is it an acquired annoyance? And it's a total catch-22.... surely one's voice isn't created that way....but why on Earth would you choose to develop your God-given voice into THAT? I don't know what's worse...the actual voice, or the fact that people PAY to hear it. It's like paying to be tortured, except that waterboarding HAS to be less painful.

2. I bet Tonya Harding & Kellie Pickler like Sugarland.

3. A few days ago someone put a box of sausages & cheeses (sealed) by our mailbox... no note, no phone call.... NO idea who left it there. Is that weird? I feel like it's weird... I mean, I would leave a note or card or something... Wouldn't you leave a note? I hate questions that are never answered. For the rest of my life, I'll be trying to figure out who left a Johnsonville Meat & Cheese Set With Bamboo Cutting Board and Serving Knife by my mailbox. Just like one time 3.5 - 4 years ago, a girl said hi to me in the meat (omgz, irony alert!)section at Lowes Food; she called me by name. I STILL try to figure out who she was and it drives me craaazy. So if you left a Johnsonville Meat & Cheese Set With Bamboo Cutting Board and Serving Knife by my mailbox or said hi to me in the meat section at Lowes Food 3.5 - 4 years ago, kindly tell me who you are, thank you. Or if you accidentally left a Johnsonville Meat & Cheese Set With Bamboo Cutting Board and Serving Knife by my mailbox and it was actually intended for someone else, you can let me know that, too. It's still sealed. Unfortunately we don't eat pork. :o(

4. I miss pork. Pork chops, pork tenderloin, pork roast, pork link sausage, pork sausage patties, pork country ham, pork any other kind of ham, pork bacon, pork livermush (no comments), porcupine (ok, just kidding), pork pork pork pork pork pork pork.

5. Tonya Harding is a dumb porker.

5 Things: 5x5, The Faves

1: Musicals: (list subject to change daily)
A Chorus Line
RENT
Phantom Of The Opera
Bye-Bye Birdie
Wicked

2. Movies:
Pretty Woman
Notting Hill
Runaway Bride
Shopgirl
Four Weddings And A Funeral

3. Bands:
The Avett Brothers
U2
Alison Krauss & Union Station
Nickel Creek
Diamond Rio (I know... don't ask.)

4. Artists:
Van Gogh
Dali
Natalie Anthony
Noyes Capehart Long
Jennifer Long de Herrera

5. Passions:
Music
Dance
Tennis
Family
Any and all things wedding

5 Things: This One's Boring. Don't Read It.

1. I don't own a microwave. Never will.
2. I don't believe in psychics. And even if I did, I wouldn't understand why people visit them.... Where's the fun in knowing everything ahead of time? Does knowing what lies ahead make people manipulate what otherwise would have happened naturally? And really.... just like with horoscopes, give me 10 different psychics' descriptions / predictions / whatever and I can make it fit my life.
3. Sharapova should have stuck with Prince racquets instead of switching to Head.
4. I wish Mitch Hedberg hadn't died.
5. I LOVE animals. LOVE.

5 Things: Bananas

1. Bananas. I love everything bananas.
2. My mom once fell out of a chair lift when she was skiing and broke her leg.
3. The Australian Open is herrrrrre!!!!!!! Helloooo, grand slam season!! I LOVE the tenises.
4. I wish Gilda Radner was still alive.
5. Bananas.

5 Things: Tiny Little Miracles (A Few Days Late)

Forgot to actually post this on Friday. Erps.

1. THREE years ago today, God and my best friend brought two VERY premature little miracle babies into the world.... Hayden weighed 2 lbs and Kolby weighed 1 lb 14 oz. Now they're beautiful, happy, potty-trained toddlers! Time fliiiiiiiies!
2. Why is it that the only excuse people can give for hating Sarah Palin is "because she's stupid," without providing any reference or example? Really??? The President thinks there are 57 states in America and those same people think he's the smartest person ever elected to office. Hmm.
3. Did I mention Dook lost to Florida State? Yeah. They did. Happy, happy, happy, happy day. (And yes, I do know I already mentioned it.)
4. The Miss America pageant is tomorrowwwwwwwww! LOVE me some Miss America. Love it. But why??? I mean...is there really a point anymore? Does the platform actually better anything or serve a purpose? I hope so...and I'm pretending it does, even if it doesn't.
5. Girl Scout Cookie Tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiime!

5 Things: Pickles & Weaves

1. You know it's going to be a good episode of Police Women of Memphis when the cops roll up on a domestic call and the first thing they discover is two different colored weaves laying in the middle of the road. Ahh yeeeah.
2. Dill pickles, Gatorade, and Yoohoo do not mesh well in one's stomach.
3. I'm staring at 3 feet of snow. The thought that God created each single solitary snowflake that has ever fallen and none of them look the same is incredible! If He took that much care in creating each snowflake, imagine how he felt creating you :oD
4. Did you know you can actually eat the berries that grow on Dogwood trees?
5. Florida State beat Duke last night. I can't begin to describe my elation... It's like I got a pony for Christmas!!

5 Things: Van Gogh, Capehart, and My Lil Sissy

1. Vincent Van Gogh is my favorite artist. Well, dead artist. My favorite living artists are my sister and my stepdad...and not because they're my sister and my stepdad, but because they're amazing (Photos below... Top piece is one of my stepfather's paintings, bottom is one of my sister's.).
2. I used to have a snowmobile. Three, actually. Miss 'em. Bigtime. ESPECIALLY this winter.
3. I have 3 cats, but I can't ride them in the snow. They're pretty awesome other than that.
4. I love Sharpies. SharPIE, not Shar PEI. Shar Peis are cute, but they don't come in green or purple.
5. Every state in the US except Florida has snow right now. Pretty rad.

5 Things: Di and I

1. I know everyone was in love with Princess Diana (how couldn't you be?), but I LOVED her... everything about her. Everything. And that's ok...I could have had a worse role model.
2. I have (safely tucked away) a (real) copy of Princess Di's - and now Kate Middleton's - sapphire & diamond engagement ring (photo); passed down to me by my mother. (Darn you, ugly $19.90 imitation now being sold!!!!)


3. As a little girl, I always had whatever hairstyle Diana had at the time.
4. My mom used to live in London and have tea in the Royal Garden with the Queen. Gloves, curtsies, hats, and all. I'm serious.
5. In Paris on our honeymoon, we unexpectedly stumbled upon the spot where Princess Di was killed... Ironically, it was the one year anniversary of her death and there was a huge makeshift memorial in the street (photos). It broke me into pieces and I couldn't tear myself away...I hated it and loved it at the same time. It's an extra special memory of mine...the kind that has its own place reserved in my heart and mind and soul, and will never, ever die.

5 Things: I May Be Old, But Keith Olbermann Is Dumb.

1. Gulf Coast Highway by Nanci Griffith & Darius Rucker (from her album Blue Roses From the Moons, 1997). An all time favorite song... especially this arrangement with strings & Darius. It's one of "those" songs... one I have been singing at the top of my lungs (I actually just typed logs. Go brain.) for 13 years in my house, in my car, in my mind, or wherever the urge may have presented itself.
2. A friend from my high school graduating class became a grandmother today. I'm 35. Ugh. (Congrats, Willie! :o) )
3. Blaming a gun for a crime is like blaming a pencil for a misspelled word.
4. Elaborate? Sure... statistics have repeatedly proven that cities & states with strict gun laws have high gun-related crime, while the citiies & states with the fewest gun laws (ie Vermont) have the lowest rates of gun-related crime. Hmm...
5. Keith Olbermann is lower than the pus that infects the mucus, that cruds up the fungus that feeds on the pond scum... Name that movie. ..well, except the Keith Olberman part. I added that.

5 Things: This

1. Stomach
2. Virus
3. Is
4. SO
5. Awful.

5 Things: Old As Dirt

1. My brother turned 37 today. 3 years away from 40. That depresses me to no end. I remember our parents turning 40. That's just wrong.
2. My friend Thad came home from the hospital today!!!!!! One large intestine and one partial small intestine lighter, but hey... lose weight the fast way, right? What matters is that he is home and he is ALIVE! Chemo starts in 6 weeks.
3. A family friend was buried today....a great patriarch. Without fail, every time I think of him, I think of a pink house and a statue of a horse's but with a long tail sticking out of it.
4. I'm designing a prom dress for my little cousin Mandy.
5. Dates and Craigslist. Just say no.