5 Things: One Way Ticket To Gitmo, Plz. With Tanya Harding And Pork On The Side.

1. It baffles me that people pay good money to hear Sugarland. Really? Maybe the dude singer is worth it, but I wouldn't know because I can never get past the squawking of Jennifer Nettles. I hear her sing and it's the train wreck scenario....I can't NOT listen; I have to hear it just to confirm that yeah...it's that bad. I mean, can a person be born with that much nasal, inbred twang or is it an acquired annoyance? And it's a total catch-22.... surely one's voice isn't created that way....but why on Earth would you choose to develop your God-given voice into THAT? I don't know what's worse...the actual voice, or the fact that people PAY to hear it. It's like paying to be tortured, except that waterboarding HAS to be less painful.

2. I bet Tonya Harding & Kellie Pickler like Sugarland.

3. A few days ago someone put a box of sausages & cheeses (sealed) by our mailbox... no note, no phone call.... NO idea who left it there. Is that weird? I feel like it's weird... I mean, I would leave a note or card or something... Wouldn't you leave a note? I hate questions that are never answered. For the rest of my life, I'll be trying to figure out who left a Johnsonville Meat & Cheese Set With Bamboo Cutting Board and Serving Knife by my mailbox. Just like one time 3.5 - 4 years ago, a girl said hi to me in the meat (omgz, irony alert!)section at Lowes Food; she called me by name. I STILL try to figure out who she was and it drives me craaazy. So if you left a Johnsonville Meat & Cheese Set With Bamboo Cutting Board and Serving Knife by my mailbox or said hi to me in the meat section at Lowes Food 3.5 - 4 years ago, kindly tell me who you are, thank you. Or if you accidentally left a Johnsonville Meat & Cheese Set With Bamboo Cutting Board and Serving Knife by my mailbox and it was actually intended for someone else, you can let me know that, too. It's still sealed. Unfortunately we don't eat pork. :o(

4. I miss pork. Pork chops, pork tenderloin, pork roast, pork link sausage, pork sausage patties, pork country ham, pork any other kind of ham, pork bacon, pork livermush (no comments), porcupine (ok, just kidding), pork pork pork pork pork pork pork.

5. Tonya Harding is a dumb porker.