Football & Dinosaurs, Hooray!

Mad props to the *other* Carolina and *gulp* Steve Spurrier for paying tribute to our troops and veterans by wearing all new uniforms incorporating camo and sporting words like "Integrity", "Courage", "Service", etc., on the back instead of players' last names. Pretty awesome.
I just complimented Steve Spurrier. Ew.

I myself received a football conference championship today thanks to our sweet defense and the best QB in college football history. And I don't mean Tim Tebow. Just look at the numbers... you'll figure it out.

Now.. Dinosaurs. Where to begin? The fact that they're extinct? Or.....that they were humongous and could swallow me whole without chewing? Or....the fact that they're extinct? Or... how 'bout we start with THE FREAKING SCIENTISTS THAT ARE TRYING TO BRING THEM BACK TO LIFE?!?!?!?! Really, guys? That's the best idea you had that day? It wasn't like, hmm, let's cure cancer? It was let's bring back the dinosaurs!!??? Did you see Jurassic Park? I mean, I like dinosaurs as much as the next guy, but I rather prefer them in pictures, you know? Like beside the bones we see in museums. You know, the ones that are about the size of your house? I mean... somebody didn't just wake up one day and say Oooo, I wonder if this'll work? No, someone had to fund that mess. So that means at least two people on this earth thought dinos + DNA = good. Know what I think? I think Mars is gorgeous this time of year. I hear the conditions for breeding man-eating lizards are like, prime. They should totally look into that. I mean, come on... If the goal is to wipeout mankind, they should just vote democrat. Same result and WAY cheaper. Really.

Peace out, y'all.

Yo, Blog!

Hey world, what's up? A friend recently suggested I start a blog, so here we go...

I really want my blog to focus on the many important issues we are facing as Americans right now, so to start out, I have to say I think Ric Flair would be a great addition to The Real Housewives of Orange County. Both his hair and schwanky duds more than qualify him, and to be honest, I bet he's had breast implants. Don't quote me on that; I'm just saying. You may not understand this if you don't live in North Carolina (oops, gave out my location...) and haven't seen the tv commercial for the Ric Flair lottery something or other (to be honest, I can't get past his golden locks and glowing [pumpkin colored] skin to actually hear what he's promoting), but it's true. The resemblance between him and the wives is uncanny.
I know, you're bummed that you don't live in NC and will never see the commercial...
Have no fear! If you don't live in NC - or if you live in NC but don't watch tv (what's wrong with you?) - you can still see the commercial thanks to YouTube and the hoards of others who know awesome when they see it. Check it out...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7OnB_jalI4U
I gotta tell ya.... I just watched this 22 times. It's too hard to resist. I don't know where he got that sweet robe, but the angel that has topped my Christmas tree since I was born wears the exact same one. Just watch it and see if you can count all the awesome. I bet you can't.
I'm calling BRAVO. At the very least, maybe we'll see Flair and Vikki WOOHOO each other to death in the ring. Starring Andy Cohen as referee, of course.
I gotta go watch it again....
Peace out, y'all.