Cancer sucks.

Bad.
It's weird... Everyday we go about our lives, performing menial tasks, sometimes being lazy and wasting time... without ever stopping to think that there are people in this world that don't get to waste time. The time for them to waste simply does not exist. There is no "I'll get to that later." ... There is no later. I watched today as my cancer-riddled mother-in-law was told she has 4-6 months to live if she does another round of chemo... or 2-3 months if she doesn't. How do you take that kind of information? Are we really equipped to grasp such a concept? Months. 2-3 months. That's how long I have a cold. That's summer break from school. That's how long you wear a cast on a broken bone. That's like one touch up if you dye/highlight/whatever your hair. My mother-in-law could possibly have her hair done today and not have to have it done again before she dies. That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. I don't get it. I know I'm not supposed to, but that just doesn't make it better right now. And I know that she can also outlive her prognosis for years. She just might be too stubborn to die yet. I mean, honestly, we were told last April that she would have been gone long before now. It can happen again, and it may. But still.... I just can't wrap my brain around being told you have months to live. On the way to the doctor this morning as we followed my in-laws, I was plucking my eyebrows (I wasn't driving) and the thought occurred to me, "I'm plucking my eyebrows, concerned about my appearance, and the woman in the car in front of me is dying. I wonder when was the last time she thought about her eyebrows?"..... It's just the weirdest concept for me. The first thing I thought upon hearing the prognosis was that I could be pregnant right now and she may never meet her grandchild. Weird. It's weird. I don't get it. I don't want to get it. I don't know. I don't have any more words for this thought process. Maybe I'll finish later...