Keely the Kriminal

I haven't felt like writing. I pull up my blog, I see it, and I don't want to write. Anyway...
I totally bailed on jury duty today. Is that a felony? Or a misdemeanor? Or a crime of any kind? I think it is because I think you can be punished for it... We'll say it is. Just for kicks. So I am now officially a criminal! How cool is that? I mean, omg, I'm a criminal!
Ok I'm not a criminal, but I can pretend. And I'm going to. But I should still probably clarify the "bailed (no pun) on jury duty" statement... Even though it will only make me look even less like a criminal and more like the law-abiding bore I actually am. But still... I didn't go, and that makes me like, a rebel. Sort of. Which, I might point out, sometimes leads to being a criminal, so who knows? Anyway... It's not like I was summoned weeks ago and forgot. I mean, I talked about jury duty as recently as last night and forgot. No fault of my own...my brain is just taking momentary leave due to large quantities of stress lately (case-in-point, I just opened the freezer door to remove and fold the laundry that just finished drying). I knew when I woke up I had something important to do today, but when I couldn't remember what exactly it was, I convinced myself it was probably that I had to order bracelets for my mother-in-law. You know, the LanceArmstrongEverybodyHasOneForAwarenessOfEveryPossibleCause kind. She has cancer. And is not doing well at all. So I had the afore mentioned bracelets made with her name to give out to peeps to wear as a reminder to continually pray for/think of her... But I digress. So 3:00 comes around today and CRAP! JURY DUTY! So I pulled out the lil (thanks for the word, Allison) letter they sent me explaining the faithful duty I purchase with my tax dollars and began to read it. Thank God...a whew moment! Not a huge one; more like a minor whew. Like diet whew... Whew lite. Had I (already) read in detail the lil letter my taxes bought me, I would have realized that today wasn't the actual beginning of jury duty. Technically I'm not required to appear until February 8, but today was the day to show up and cry to the judge about why you should be excused ("Your Honor, while I love being a dedicated citizen/taxpayer/native of this great county/state/nation and would consider it nothing less than a great honor/priviledge/blessing to serve in any possible way I can, I just cannot possibly serve at this time because ___________*insert reason here* i.e. hangnail, faulty brakes, What Not To Wear marathon on tv, etc."). And trust me, I was going to ask to be excused. Ask, beg, whatever..same thing. Not for shallow reasons (honestly!), but because I just can't really commit to anything right now while my maw-in-law is so sick. So I called the number that was on the lil letter and the lady who answered gave me another number to call. So I called the number the lady gave me and the lady who answered gave me another number to call. So I called the number the lady gave me and the machine that answered transferred me to a lady (*transferred, not transformed) who transferred me to another lady (*again, transferred, not transformed) named LuAnn Whateverherlastnameis. And this is why LuAnn Whateverhernameis who works for the judge (or clerk or other person) at the whatever office in (or not in) the courthouse is my favorite person today. After she told me the only thing I could do would be to show up on February 8 as instructed and ask the judge at that time to be excused, I asked what would happen (omg would I go to jail?!) if I was out of town that day. This prompted LuAnn to ask my reason for wanting to be excused and when I told her my maw-i-l has stage 4 cancer and may be under hospice care soon, she promptly told me don't worry 'bout a ting, 'cause every lil ting gonna be alright, (singin' don't worry 'bout a ting, 'cause every lil ting gonna be alright). LuAnn ("Lu", now that we're friends) informed me she would call the judge and explain my reason and she had no doubt he would absolutely excuse me and put my name back in the pool (NOT the good kind) to possibly be summoned later. WOOHOOOOOOO! Thanks, Lu, I owe you one! I always knew we'd be great friends...